When Apathy Fades

I remember myself as a young girl, hands outstretched, offering minutes to a man of power. At times, there is another young girl standing beside me naively doing the same. We smile and laugh with the man, he folds our moments and puts them in his pocket. He reigns over us, breathes a natural love and it lands in our hair.

As we begin to grow, we quickly learn invincibility. I grab her hand and I ask “who is this man? Why do we give him all that is precious?” We sneer at the man, watch something behind his eyes deflate, we learn to defeat. Gratitude is soon replaced by greed. We leave the man standing alone, he watches us go and begins to weep.

Our pockets, however, are not as big as his. We are soon overwhelmed with the moments passed, we begin to throw away seconds, minutes, hours. We leave them to rot in the earth. Guilt is soon followed by apathy.

Recently, I was wandering throughout my mind. I was reminded of the man that had loved me dearly. The strong-held apathy soon resided; guilt, shame, and a strong will to exist swallowed my entire being. I lay in the soil and traced his footprints. As of late he resigned from waiting for my return. It pains me to think of the grief I have brought upon such a soul, it pains me to know that I have lost such a love.

Time is ticking so quickly. Where is it going? It is not in my pocket and it is not in my mind. Not in my mouth and so hard to find.

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